I really like her hair in this photo.smart and flirty.

quote for the day

"thank heavens I'm not that modest"

challenge #2: chat

I used to take the time to chat with strangers.
The clerk, someone behind me in line, another mom at the park or acquaintances at church.
I don't really do that anymore.
In fact, I take precautions to avoid small talk. I guess I justify it because my life is busy with a big family and most the time I'm tired and I just want to be quiet. However, at the end of the day I have lost out on moments to have necessary human interaction ... conversation.Now this wouldn't be any big deal if I kept to myself now and then(we all need quiet right?) It's when, like for me, you've been enjoying quiet for so long... you no longer desire/know how/feel comfortable to spontaneously engage with others. I know I have missed opportunities to make friendships, learn something new, or give/receive kindness.
Challenge this week: chatting.
I will ask questions or make comments to at least one new person each day, being genuine of course.
I'm interested to see what this challenge will bring.
Will you do it with me?

challenge #1 completed

So... this week's challenge is up.Were you smiling all week?
I have to say, some days it was hard. I wasn't in the mood. And other times it was a let down when people would scowl back at me. Alas, I expected that. The reward definitely was when I would get a really positive reaction. You could tell they weren't expecting it, and most the time- it was reciprocated with a beautiful smile. It is a good feeling to give someone a little burst of happiness, even if it's momentary. A stranger's smile can say, "you're doing great" or "you look like a nice person" or even "I care about you, even though I don't know you."
It was a great challenge.
I want to hear how it went for you.
Keep smiling.

well then

Feeling much better today.
Thank you to my 3 supporters.I went for a nice brisk walk this morning and while pumping my arms back and forth... I promised myself something, or rather I promised my dog something. I will no longer call her dumb-butt. I really do feel better today.
ps, I just noticed the cigarette in Scarlett's hand- and though I highly do not condone smoking, yesterday I may've considered it.

poor me

I'm feeling kind of down and out today.What's the best way to lick the blues?

challenge #1: smile

this week I willgive a smileto everyone I see.It's the amazing two-way gift.
You feel better, they feel better.
I can do this.
But it will mean smiling even when I don't feel like it.
And smiling at people who may not return the smile.
Will you do it with me?

laundry

Yesterday a friend came over. I knew she was coming but I was not expecting her to stay and visit, otherwise I might've spruced a little, but again with my efforts to loosen up I decided to welcome her into my mess. Just some of the mess was laundry all about. Thankfully clean. As we entered my volcanic eruption of a family room, I digressed by apologizing (trying not to do that) but sweetly, the first words out of her mouth were "would you like me to help fold your laundry?" I loved that. I did not take her up on it (mostly because I am a strict mom who makes her kids fold their own basket of clothes) but the offer caused me to ponder, would I have thought to offer the same to someone else? It's not that I wouldn't fold someone's laundry, it's more would I have thought to ask? I know I would've thought to ask before I went crazy with 5 kids and life... but I guess what I'm saying is I don't want kids and life to be my blinders. I want to still be able to see outside my own box into the boxes of others.
So, another goal: be more aware.

progress

A few days ago I took one of my kids to the doctor. We arrived at exactly 9am, the appointment time. We waited and waited. Finally I started realizing every single person in the waiting room, who arrived well after us, was being called back. My frustration was rising. Had the front desk woman put the charts in the wrong order- taking others before us? Was I waiting for people who were just now showing up for their earlier appointment? But with a serious effort to really soften my quills, I calmly made my way to the front desk. The random thought came to my mind to ask the receptionist if we were early for the appointment.

To which she replied, "actually, yes... you are 40 minutes early."I couldn't believe I had messed that up. It was my fault. And how relieved I was that I hadn't stormed up to the counter demanding an explanation for being overlooked.

I'm slowly climbing my way down the uptight ladder I've been on for over a decade-

and it feels really good.

de-prickling

Last night while spooning the nest of pillows I construct for myself every night, I could hear Capt. Butler in the bathroom washing his face. Sloshing and slapping the watery soap all over himself, the mirror, the counter top, and the floor... none of which had properly made it into the sink. Just as I could feel my quills start to prickle, I took a deep breath. Normally, I might yell, "hey! calm down in there" or "clean up the flood before you come to bed"... not this time, instead I kept spooning. I was so comfortable in fact that I was nearly asleep before he made it to the bed. Then. My mind went straight to what I knew was coming. Wet hands and wet whiskers, with the inevitable soap residue. Have you ever had cold wet, soapy whiskers scratch along your jaw? I'm just saying. Before he could even put his head to the pillow-- or even think about rolling over to me, I let out the word... "ew". And then I caught myself again. This man hadn't even touched me yet, hadn't even had a chance to get comfy in his little nest he makes for himself... and I'm already ewing.

"what?" he asks.

"um nothing" I say,

because I am de-prickling. One quill at a time.

Feisty

It isn't a bad word, or at least not completely bad. It means touchy, quarrelsome... full of spirit or pluck; frisky or spunky. See, not all bad. In a word, Margaret Mitchell's Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With the Wind was... feisty. And yet, I believe she wanted to be good. She wanted to be soft and gentle, thoughtful and compassionate, prudent and restrained- or at least have moments being such. The character of Melanie was introduced to mirror everything Scarlett was not. Melanie was all the aforementioned words. Scarlett hated her for it, not only because she wasn't those things- but mostly because the man Scarlett loved had fallen for every tempered and gentle part of Melanie. I first saw this movie when I was a little girl- maybe 5 or 6 yrs old. I don't know how many times I've seen it since, but everytime I do, I find myself in some of the scenes- cheering for Scarlett or at least understanding her. Not that I was ever spoiled, or even remotely wealthy... more in the sense that often her impatient, prideful and stubborn nature would get her into trouble. I admire her tenacity and her determination to get through hard times- you see that in her character especially as the civil war ended and she had nothing.

Thankfully my likeness to Scarlett's story ends with her restless nature- I am very happy with my Rhett Butler. Again, I need to stress that I don't believe being feisty is a completely negative thing- it's nice to know I can usually say what I mean and mean what I say. However, I'm searching for a certain amount of softness to blend with the spunk as my edges are often too rough.

I'm willing to put effort into this- to look for opportunities to restrain, think twice, and speak softer. I will do this through a series of weekly challenges/goals. I know I have at least 52 things to work on. Week by week I hope to uncover a really great person. I understand that one week is not always enough time to change or enhance something within me. But the point is to focus on one thing at a time for an entire week, and then as the weeks pass by and the challenges change, I will take with me the experiences I've had and continually work on past and present goals.

So,
this is the story of taming the
Scarlett
in me.